Amazon Tribe

Roger worked in accounts receivable, which was down the hall for the records department. The room had an unsettling orange tinge that upset his stomach. The corridor outside his office wasn’t much better, with a mix of dark black-green walls and the florescent glow of the sickening 40s orange light bulbs. His eyes were heavy and the numbers on the account records in front of him seemed to dance and leap over each other in an African, tribal-like manner. The buzzing intercom grabbed his attention and he languidly pressed the talker.
 “Burke.”
 “Mr. Fenton is asking for you, Roger,” came the voice of his boss’ secretary.
 “OK,” he said aloud, not bothering to press the talker.
 His footsteps were heavy as he ascended the stairs to the managers’ floor; they could afford windows. When he arrived at Mr. Fenton’s door, he started to feel the sweat materialize in his hands. A few minutes later he left the office, relieved it was over but utterly drained of any motivation to commence work on his new assignment for Mr. Fenton. Roger missed the days of when Mr. Shelley worked in accounts receivable before he was transferred to a branch in Nashville. At least he would listen to his concerns. For Roger, though, this was just another bleak day in his stale life.
 When he returned to his own office he decided to grab his work and bring it over to his friend’s, Jason, office in accounts deliverable. He knocked shyly before opening the door wide and dragging a chair from outside into the room.
 “The usual?” Jason asked?
 “Yeah, you know how it goes. I’d rather not work alone while I got this new assignment.”
 “What’s he want to do now?”
 Roger paused for a moment as he tried to organize a spot in the room to work. “They want to open a new branch somewhere on the West Coast, so they need me to work on closing a few outstanding invoices—bah, you know how it is.”
 Jason gave a nod before speaking. “Do you think we’re made for this?”
 “What do you mean?”
 “I mean, you know, like writing numbers down in books?”
 “Haven’t they had people do that since, well, ever?” Roger wasn’t sure what Jason was getting at.
 “Right, but what did people like us do before we had pen and paper?”
 Roger didn’t have an answer so he let the conversation die.
 “I think I was made for rape,” Jason muttered.
 “… What?”
 “Well, I just got to thinking, you know, you get a lot of time to do that in this kinda job, that if I was a caveman, or something, living in the wild I would probably be a rapist.”
 “I see. Can’t say the same but I never gave it much thought…” Roger wasn’t sure where this conversation was going and it made him feel uncomfortable. He’d prefer to change the subject or just let this one die.
 “Which secretary would you rape?” Roger regretted his decision to visit Jason. “Come on, which one would you rape?”
 “I don’t know, uh, maybe Mr. Fenton’s secretary”
 “Caroline? Yeah, I guess she has a cute face from a certain angle. Me? Well, I think I would first rape that one girl in the contracts department. You know the one I’m talking about?”
 Roger feigned that he did in the hopes things could go back to normal. But Jason just kept on going.
 “After that I think I would just rape anyone I could get my hands on.”
 Roger couldn’t take any more and he was worried they might get written up for blasphemous talk. “Look, Jason, you mind if we talk about something else or focus on our work?”
 “Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, pal. It’s just on the radio the other day I heard something about people discovering a tribe in the Amazon. Got me thinking is all.”
 Roger wasn’t sure how an undiscovered Amazon tribe led Jason to conclude he should start raping secretaries and he didn’t want to know. Maybe Jason did have a point; not about the raping, but about being made for this kind of work. If some tribe in the Amazon could go this many thousands of years without anything why couldn’t he? It probably isn’t that easy if one had to spend all his time gathering food. Could he or Jason even hunt a boar? Perhaps it’s better not give it too much thought. Right now, Roger needed to focus on his work so Mr. Fenton would get off his back.
 Roger noticed Jason starting to stir, he was probably going to try and talk about something unhinged again. Better to preempt him.
 “Jason, I heard your department got some new juniors, how have they been working?”
 “Hmm,” Jason stopped working and pondered the question, “they’re still wet behind the ears but I think most of them will manage. I’ll have to talk to Mike to Joe at the end of the month about the juniors when we do a review.”
 If Roger could keep Jason talking for a bit longer until lunch then he could avoid another discussion about rape.
 “How many problems have you noticed with them?” Roger asked.
 “Just the usual calculation mistakes here and there,” Jason remarked, “oh, but there is this one fellow, Chad, who seems to spend more time talking to all the women in different departments than doing his work. I’ll probably have to fire him. He makes the most mistakes of all.”
 Roger had heard of this guy from some of his other colleagues but not much beyond mild rumours.
 “Anyway, you know, I saw him talking to that one girl in the contracts department, the one I mentioned I would rape first.”
 Fuck.
 “Yeah, I can’t have him talking to her. Not like a schmuck like me could ever be with her but just the thought of this guy putting his paws on her makes my blood boil.”
 Roger was relieved when he noticed that it was noon. The throng of people filing into the hallway was a good indicator. He thanked Jason for the company and told him he would return to his own office for the rest of the afternoon. He thought it better to never visit Jason again.